As Expected.

Sorry I didn’t feel like looking up a picture for this post, I have minor food poisoning. Okay, so I read this article that said if you think a guy is losing interest or is so confident that he won’t lose you that he stops trying, don’t have text him, call him, like his posts, or anything for three days and see what he does. So I decided to try this with David after he didn’t text me back twice. It’s been two days now with nothing, I see him all over social media, ignoring my posts as I ignore his. Low and behold he texts me today,  “Are you not gonna talk to me any more?” IT WORKED. He realized that I’m not gonna be around forever. Maybe he’ll finally get his shit together.

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Unbelievable

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So last night/this morning was probably the most dramatic time of my life. My parents were out of town last night so I was going to have a guy stay over (see post “Are You Serious?”). I ended up having my friend Matt come over, which turned out to be a bad idea because he has tourettes and his constant twitching and noises made it impossible to sleep. At around 1:30 AM I get texts, calls, and snapchats from David (see posts “They Always Come Back” and “Nailed It”) asking if he could come over. Keep in mind, I invited David to stay over first but he said he couldn’t. I didn’t see the messages until about 3 AM so I didn’t expect him to reply but he did.  I told him I had someone else over, which I had every right to after he admittedly fucked me over, and he freaked out.  He was acting like I cheated on him and he drove in a rage 45 minutes to the city where I live in the middle of the night. Thank God he didn’t know my address and didn’t show up at my house. So around 8 AM I wake up to a bunch more texts saying he needs to come see me and that I should have kicked Matt out and blah blah blah. Finally I agreed to talk to him and he waited outside my house for Matt and I to come out. Once Matt got to his car he said, “Bro you’re in my spot.” Matt didn’t say anything, thank goodness, and then David insulted Matt’s haircut. I’m mortified at this point and can’t believe this is happening. Finally Matt drove off and David starts drilling me with questions about why and what I did with him. The part that bothers me the most is that day he texted me and told me how he still loved his ex so he couldn’t get involved with me. We had agreed to be friends not even 12 hours prior to his late night calls. Finally I got him to stop being mad at me but I am so confused as to where we stand. One minute he loves his ex and needs time, the next he’s crazy about me and needs to see me on the spot. Why is this so confusing?

Are You Serious?

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I met a new guy named Josh who is literally perfect. He’s 6’3″ and a firefighter and just plain hot. We have been texting for a few days and turns out he’s a virgin. I honestly have no idea how this is even possible so of course I invited him to stay the night tomorrow night. We have been talking all day and then all of a sudden he sent me crying emojis. When I went to reply, my message wouldn’t send. Turns out he blocked me. What the actual fuck? We have plans to hang out tomorrow night and everything and you just block me?? I’m 100% serious guys when I say honesty is the most important thing when getting involved with someone. He could have just told me what he was thinking instead of completely alienating me. What a little fuck.

They Always Come Back

201506_2312_ebhae_smSo everyone remember the guy I was referring to in my “Nailed It” post? Well this little shit texted me today after I posted a bikini pic on Instagram and decided he wanted to be friends with benefits and that the sex was “fucking amazing”. The whole reason we are not together is because you’re still deciding on whether or not to go back to the chick that cheated on you! Soon after this conversation, I found his profile on tinder where he claims, “I’m not looking to hook up, I want a relationship with a classy girl.” YEAH OKAY. I told him I was definitely not doing the friends with benefits thing, or anything at all for that matter,¬†and that I am not going to do anything¬†with him until he gets his shit with his ex figured out. We move to the same college in 9 days. I don’t understand how he doesn’t think A) that his ex will cheat again while he is gone or B) he will cheat on her while he’s gone. Its not going to work out, nor should it if she could so easily go behind his back.

The D. U. F. F.

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I’m so confused, how am I the D. U. F. F.? Oh and for those of you who don’t know, D. U. F. F. Stands for designated ugly fat friend. Last night, along with most weekends, I went out with my friend Lauren. Lauren is pretty and confident, she also has huge boobs and a big butt. She basically is a guy’s dream. Whenever we go out, she always gets hit on and dances with the guys that I have been looking at all night and it really it a hit to the ego. I don’t have huge boobs like her but we we wear the same size and when I’m dancing I really try to be as confident as possible. Everyone says it’s because she acts like she doesn’t care and is easy (even though she’s not) but I don’t understand why I can’t even get one attractive guy to talk to me. Everyone tells me I’m pretty but I am finding it harder to believe every time the guys talk about how attractive my friends are. One day I’ll find the guy for me.

Nailed It.

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I think I finally found the best one-liner to send a girl after you hook-up: “are u gona be pregnant”? Word for word the text I just received. Is this real life? How old are we? Even if I miraculously got pregnant, it’s not your problem considering I’m not yours. This text I received follows the excuse that his ex (who cheated on him) is begging for him to take her back, right after I leave his house.  I get it dude, you’re not interested. Please stop sugar coating this stuff guys. It hurts a lot less if you’re honest about your intentions from the start.
Sincerely,
A female with feelings.

Oh Brother

Is it just me or is anyone else overly bothered by their younger siblings? My little brother is at the annoying age of 15 and is the epitome of teenager. He is now making my mom, who is in turn making me, drive 30 minutes to drop off his paintball gun that’s supposed to be there in 20 minutes. To top it off he just got in the shower, like who are you going to see in the whole 5 minutes we aren’t in the car, your future wife?! Ugh. Yes I’m being over dramatic but he seriously bothers me. I can’t wait to move out.
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