The D. U. F. F.


I’m so confused, how am I the D. U. F. F.? Oh and for those of you who don’t know, D. U. F. F. Stands for designated ugly fat friend. Last night, along with most weekends, I went out with my friend Lauren. Lauren is pretty and confident, she also has huge boobs and a big butt. She basically is a guy’s dream. Whenever we go out, she always gets hit on and dances with the guys that I have been looking at all night and it really it a hit to the ego. I don’t have huge boobs like her but we we wear the same size and when I’m dancing I really try to be as confident as possible. Everyone says it’s because she acts like she doesn’t care and is easy (even though she’s not) but I don’t understand why I can’t even get one attractive guy to talk to me. Everyone tells me I’m pretty but I am finding it harder to believe every time the guys talk about how attractive my friends are. One day I’ll find the guy for me.

Too Soon


There is this girl, Katie, who we were all friends with for a few months until she turned out to be psycho and made up lies about all of us and everything we do to keep herself out of trouble. For example, Katie told her mother she was staying the night at my house when she was really staying with boys and posted a picture of her with a bottle of Fireball in a hotel room. She had the audacity to ask my mother to lie to her mother and say that we have shitty hotel carpet in our house. Then Katie proceeds to tell her mother that my mother was the one supplying the alcohol to underage kids. Katie was 17 at this point, by the way. So one of my best friends, Lauren, who introduced us to Katie also has very, VERY crazy parents and when they caught wind of the rumor, confronted me about the pictures. That put me in an extremely uncomfortable position because of course my mother would never do that and it made me so mad that a girl would make up all these rumors about other people just to cover her own ass.

That was just a little back story to where we are today. Katie texted me today and proceeded to tell me about how she is going to move from Florida to either Hawaii or North Carolina with her new boyfriend who is in the army. Katie just turned 18 last week. They are getting a puppy together and moving to a different state. WHAT?!? They have not even been dating for a few months which, in my opinion, is way to soon to pick up your whole life and leave the state and your family. Katie is not only young but is very immature and naive, I actually don’t think she will follow through with the plan because she can’t keep a relationship for as long as it takes for him to come home. I just am baffled with the way all of the girls my age are getting pregnant, engaged, and moving in with random dudes before they even go to college. What has society become?

What’s the Point?

Today I spent the day with three girls who are in a relationship. I was the only single person around today. Two of the three were literally screaming at their partners over the phone and slamming their phones on the table whenever their partner texted back something ignorant. I do not see the point of being in a relationship if you scream and fight everyday and make each other miserable.  I would never put myself in a place where my friends are, their boyfriends are telling to go fuck themselves and to fuck off every other text. That is not a healthy relationship. What is the point of making yourself miserable (as well as the innocent bystanders)? I’m not saying I have never been guilty of staying in a bad relationship too long, because I have, but it never, ever got to the point where we told each other to fuck off. I just don’t get it.

Good Karma

I really need some good karma. Apparently I was a bad person in my past life considering all the ways I’ve been broken down recently for no good reason.  Yoga this morning was not very helpful, it’s my most recent ex’s birthday and he’s on my mind. To top it off, one of my old friends invited me to go for a drive and I find out this morning that another girl is joining us, a girl I never was very fond of.  So now I not only have to pretend to be happy but pretend to be nice to this chick.  Here goes nothing.

Send Noodz

What the what is up with guys always asking for and sending nudes?? I am sorry but I do not want to see your junk nor do I think it is attractive (yes I am straight). I get it, bodies ARE beautiful, but I enjoy your body much more with pants on and I wish you could respect mine enough to enjoy it covered as well.

For All My Ladies

Alright I am about to say something that I hope is on every girl’s mind as much as it is on mine: Why are men just assholes? Okay okay, sorry guys, not all of you or even most of you are jerks but I just seem to have a keen sense for finding the jerkiest of them all. I have been with approximately 10, at the minimum, total and complete assholes in the past few months. And yes that is a lot of guys to date in a few months but none of them made it passed the second date, and it wasn’t by my decision. I do not and cannot fathom how guys can be so stupid as to drop of the face of the earth and to leave a girl wondering rather than just manning up and saying they are not interested. Trust me guys, it hurts a lot less in the long run if you are honest and she probably won’t creep on your ass for months hoping that you will return her calls. Just sayin’.